Press

Satirical headlines and campaign-style media assets. This page is commentary and parody, not official news reporting.

DICK TATER OFFICIALLY ENTERS 2028 RACE, SHATTERING CONVENTIONAL LIMITS WITH LEGAL GENIUS THAT CONSTITUTIONAL SCHOLARS CALL "UNPRECEDENTED" AND SOURCES CLOSE TO DICK CALL "OBVIOUS, ACTUALLY"

By Staff Correspondent | Washington, D.C.

Candidate's creative name-change strategy hailed as masterstroke; critics unable to identify specific flaw; one attorney described as "extremely comfortable, physically very relaxed."

Read Article

INSIDE NATASHA'S SECRET ESCAPE PLAN: SOURCES REVEAL CANDIDATE'S WIFE KEEPS "GO BAG" IN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, EMERGENCY PASSPORT FROM COUNTRY DICK CANNOT NAME

By Our Investigative Team | Exclusive

"She's always somewhere in the building," says campaign; building has twelve exits, Natasha confirmed near eleven of them.

Read Article

DICK TATER, LEGAL NAME, ANNOUNCES 2028 PRESIDENTIAL BID; SAYS CONSTITUTION IS "ACTUALLY VERY FLEXIBLE ON THE THIRD-TERM QUESTION"

By Staff Correspondent | Washington, D.C.

Legal scholars divided; one attorney described situation as "unprecedented in a way I need to think about very carefully"; candidate describes himself as "essentially a new person, legally."

Read Article